What Am I Here to Create?
I Am the Creator of My Reality – Truth or Fiction?
My mind is very creative. There are voices inside, thoughts that form constantly, on a wide range of topics. The variety can be overwhelming. Which ones are really me? I know from my meditation practice, that my true voice, the one that is really me, is often silent and comes across more as a “knowing” than something I hear. Whenever I describe the different parts of me to a therapist or a coach, I use gestures signaling that the voices I don’t love; the inner critic, judge, victim, complainer, are all up in my head, and the nurturing, soft, truthful “voice” or presence, rather, is in my heart. It’s the way I can tell which part of me is taking charge, and to be honest, it’s usually my head.
When I think about why this is, I’m reminded that our brain is a complex organ with many parts including the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus, and more all working together to process emotions, convert short-term memory to long-term memory, regulate hormones, solve problems, control impulses, make decisions, recognize smell, interpret pain, vision, spatial relationships, and so much more. I’ve recently learned, from the amazing Jemarc Axinto, about the neuroscience of fear and trauma and how it can actually change the brain: the prefrontal cortex is bypassed so then we are at the whim of the limbic system where the hippocampus actually shrinks in size directly impacting memory, and the amygdala becomes hyperactivated under stress which narrows our focus, making memories more vivid and triggering fight-flight-freeze-fawn reactions.
All of these survival responses are built-in to the brain and are a type of autopilot. Overcoming trauma and rewiring the brain takes effort. In my life, I’ve had experiences of extreme fear or trauma that have caused the fear circuitry in my brain to activate and bypass my prefrontal cortex entirely. I never knew that it was a survival mechanism hard-wired into my brain! I thought I had chosen to block out details of the trauma.
So, what does this have to do with creativity? When we look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, there is a large base at the bottom of the pyramid for survival. These basic needs include money, shelter, food, water, oxygen, and safety. When these needs are not met, it’s all that our humanness can focus on. Only when we feel secure that our basic needs for survival are met can we move up the pyramid to focus on our psychological needs and finally our self-fulfillment needs. When we are constantly in the stress response, it’s like we are stuck at the bottom of the pyramid fighting for our safety, rather than when we understand and believe that we are safe, we have all we need for survival, and then we can start to move toward achieving our full potential.
I’ve found many ways to help move myself out of the destructive or unsupportive thoughts in the mind and back into the helpful and supportive unconditional love of the heart. Some of these tips are things I do on a regular basis, before anything can trigger me or move me into a stressful response, as a ritual or routine to establish a better baseline. Now, I am learning to use more of these tools as soon as I notice that I’m out of balance and it takes a lot of awareness, deep breaths, and support from others.
When I notice that I’m creating a reality that is unsupportive of my intentions or goals in my mind by believing thoughts that I’m not worthy, not good enough, stuck, unprepared, etc. I can pause, stop the thoughts by using words like “stop” or “cancel” and a hand gesture like crossing my arms in front of me, or holding a hand out like a stop sign, and reset my thoughts to something that is most likely more true. (Credit to Jas Singh and his New Me 12 Week Challenge.) Positive affirmations like: I am good enough, I am worthy, I am valued, I am loved, I am creative, I am whole, can take the place of the former, negative thought, and fuel me to creating the reality I really want.
Other techniques that work are:
Meditation – actually getting quiet and sitting with the thoughts and feelings coming up. Allowing them to be there and maybe even asking them questions as to what is their purpose – why are they there? I’ve found with this technique that they get quiet, or they tell me something – like I am here to protect you, to keep you safe, to make sure you don’t cause yourself harm. Then, once I know the reason, I can gently unravel this by letting that voice know that I got this. I appreciate the concern, but I’m going to feel fear and move forward with courage.
Taking a deep breath, or three, or five. Sometimes when I notice the negative thoughts taking over, I also become aware that my breath is so shallow it almost seems non-existent. At this time, I can benefit my whole system by breathing deeply into my belly. Sometimes, when the emotions are not too strong, one breath is enough to reset my nervous system. Other times I need more to release whatever I’m feeling and get back into the good vibes where my parasympathetic nervous system is in charge.
Tuning forks or conscious music – I am fortunate enough to have energy healing techniques at my fingertips and they work just as well on myself as they do on my clients, when I remember to use them. Sound is one of the most powerful senses we have – it is the first one that develops, and typically the last one to leave us. The vibrations of sound can bring our watery system back into balance quickly and words of affirmation set to music are easier to remember and repeat.
Of course there are more ideas, and because each of us is different, things that work for me might not be what’s right for you. What I am here to create is a balanced life for me and permission for others to have the same. If you are looking for a partner in creating your best life, reach out to me for a free discovery call to find out if transformational coaching is right for you. I offer presence, a clear reflection of who you are, and powerful questions that can guide you toward the life of your dreams. We are not here to simply survive, but to thrive and create the life we desire.
My deepest desire is to help others live to their highest expression and to leave a legacy of compassion and self-love. The definition of courage is the ability to do something that frightens us. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” I am aware that sharing my voice with the world is more important than my fear of ridicule or rejection.
This is so beautiful, Becca!